So this is just another post to let my thoughts out.in no particular order or importance, not that any of these are,I just like to eat back on these to see how the he'll I've come to be where I'm at. I'm typing from my phone with Swype so if there are,(I'm sure there will be many) typos, my apologies in advance. So a lot has happened since my last post. Mainly good things. I got a new phone, the galaxy note 2 which I fucking love, ditched my iPhone 5 (the Hell was I thinking abandoning my baby android ?). I've now been at gamestop for a year and I can't wait to get out. I did mention to my manager that I'll be gone as soon as I can or find a new job and he was totally cool about it. They tried to convince me to stay but after getting a 20 cent raise, yea fuck that haha. I've lost about 40lbs now add off the new year, technically I've achieved my new years resolution but I'm going to challenge myself to lose at least another 20 lbs. I really want to feel good wearing what I want knowing I look like a sexy bitch haha. As far as dating goes its been about 3 months since I actually have tried dating and so far it's sucked. I am talking to this girl at the moment and she is really fucking cool.I'm very attracted to her too which is a big plus. But I'll be careful this time, the last girl I talked to was a fucking psycho....I shudder at the thought. Hopefully this girl is everything I'm hoping for and more. Back to my life, the job hunt is pretty ducked.I've applied but nobody has responded.I haven't done all that I've done before though, usually I get a job fast, but this time it's different.note that I really look forward to a good new j job,I can't find one.The fuck :/? Hopefully I can start falling asleep earlier, in a total insomniac right now... gamestop doesn't help.I don't get too enjoy my days so I enjoy the nights.sleep my morning away until it's time to wake up and go to work.this has been my life for the past year.fuck this,I need something different. Well not much more to write, hopefully my next post is one of achievement and not reflection. Ta motherfucking ta.
22.5.13
28.3.13
Random
So lately I've been down and out. Everyday has felt like a drag, I wake up dreading work and realizing its not what and where I want to be as far as my job goes. I actually miss my days working in the office whether it was doing real estate or being a sales assistant.... god knows the money was better too. Unstable hours kind of sucks, the shifts work great with my classes, but at the expense of my social life. I can't do what I used to do. Wake up, take a hike.. or even just take a bike ride on a trail. Hell, I can't even go to the beach and just sit down to read a book...
------change of thought-----
I miss the beach, hopefully this summer I can revisit the bonfires we used to have late at night with friends. It'd be nice to have someone with me there, but I'll get back to that when I find her. So many plans and not enough time to execute them. This is temporary, or so I tell myself. I'm relied on too much at work that I actually feel bad when the thought of leaving occurs, yes its not a big job.. its a retail thing, but I've gotten so close to the workers there that I'd feel as if I was letting them down. So many people tell me that I got to take care of myself first. But that's my problem, I'm too nice. I have a hard time doing just me... I feel selfish when I do, and I like to keep everyone happy, even if it makes me unhappy. I'm not sure where to define the line between guilt or not being determined.
------change of thought-----
I miss the beach, hopefully this summer I can revisit the bonfires we used to have late at night with friends. It'd be nice to have someone with me there, but I'll get back to that when I find her. So many plans and not enough time to execute them. This is temporary, or so I tell myself. I'm relied on too much at work that I actually feel bad when the thought of leaving occurs, yes its not a big job.. its a retail thing, but I've gotten so close to the workers there that I'd feel as if I was letting them down. So many people tell me that I got to take care of myself first. But that's my problem, I'm too nice. I have a hard time doing just me... I feel selfish when I do, and I like to keep everyone happy, even if it makes me unhappy. I'm not sure where to define the line between guilt or not being determined.
20.1.13
Fishing
???
So, it's been a loooong time since I've posted anything. I've deleted A lot I wish I hadn't, but such is life. I recently saw a HIMYM episode entitled "hooked". It opened my eyes to many past experiences. It goes like this, every person has someone they get hooked on. This person becomes their everything they want, but can't have because they're on their own hook. It's a cycle that goes round and round. Once realized, you have two options, realize you're hooked on this person, you can unhook yourself knowing this person is hooked on someone else, and leave it at that. Option two, swim hard and hope you get reeled in, but this is usually a battle that can end up in you being reeled In and in the end, it can be good and can also end In you being tossed back in. One can only hope they're kept and not eaten, while tired and hopeful . Where am I in this uphill swim on a hook? I haven't a clue. I know I'm hooked and ill keep swimming , maybe ill see something that will make me pull away even if I rip myself open doing so. Until then I can only hope for a happy ending. If not, then at least I had a small taste of the happy familiar feeling I once had. Goodnight!!!
So, it's been a loooong time since I've posted anything. I've deleted A lot I wish I hadn't, but such is life. I recently saw a HIMYM episode entitled "hooked". It opened my eyes to many past experiences. It goes like this, every person has someone they get hooked on. This person becomes their everything they want, but can't have because they're on their own hook. It's a cycle that goes round and round. Once realized, you have two options, realize you're hooked on this person, you can unhook yourself knowing this person is hooked on someone else, and leave it at that. Option two, swim hard and hope you get reeled in, but this is usually a battle that can end up in you being reeled In and in the end, it can be good and can also end In you being tossed back in. One can only hope they're kept and not eaten, while tired and hopeful . Where am I in this uphill swim on a hook? I haven't a clue. I know I'm hooked and ill keep swimming , maybe ill see something that will make me pull away even if I rip myself open doing so. Until then I can only hope for a happy ending. If not, then at least I had a small taste of the happy familiar feeling I once had. Goodnight!!!
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