Random

     So lately I've been down and out.  Everyday has felt like a drag, I wake up dreading work and realizing its not what and where I want to be as far as my job goes.  I actually miss my days working in the office whether it was doing real estate or being a sales assistant.... god knows the money was better too.  Unstable hours kind of sucks, the shifts work great with my classes, but at the expense of my social life.  I can't do what I used to do. Wake up, take a hike.. or even just take a bike ride on a trail. Hell, I can't even go to the beach and just sit down to read a book...
------change of thought-----
     I miss the beach, hopefully this summer I can revisit the bonfires we used to have late at night with friends.  It'd be nice to have someone with me there, but I'll get back to that when I find her.  So many plans and not enough time to execute them.  This is temporary, or so I tell myself.  I'm relied on too much at work that I actually feel bad when the thought of leaving occurs, yes its not a big job.. its a retail thing, but I've gotten so close to the workers there that I'd feel as if I was letting them down. So many people tell me that I got to take care of myself first. But that's my problem, I'm too nice.  I have a hard time doing just me... I feel selfish when I do, and I like to keep everyone happy, even if it makes me unhappy.  I'm not sure where to define the line between guilt or not being determined.